Muslim Marriage

There are Muslims in many different countries of this world. All Muslims have different cultures therefore every Muslim has a slightly different part in their marriage ceremony.

Engagement: In the beginning before the marriage takes place the boy and the girl, who are going to get married, have to get engaged because that is one of the rules of an Islamic marriage. In the beginning the parents of the girl and the boy ask each other if they would give their son or daughter to get married to each other. If the parents then agree, both sides arrange for the girl and the boy to see each other. After seeing each other, if the girl likes the boy and the boy likes the girl, then both families arrange the engagement. When everything is arranged, the boy’s side goes to the girl's house. Now the boy and the girl are seated next to each other. They are told to put on each other's rings on, the boy puts the ring on the girl's finger and the girl puts the ring on the boy's finger, after this the boy and the girl are engaged. Both families have now dinner together and then the boy's family leaves later on.

The Dowry: A dowry is not one of the Islamic rules of marriage, in fact it is against the Islamic laws. A dowry is not against the law however when the groom's family gives something to the bride's family happily. If the bride's family start to ask to the groom's family for money etc, then it is against the Islamic laws. The fixing of a dowry is an agreed sum of money, depending on the circumstances of the family, which the bridegroom will pay to his bride.

It is often paid into two parts: some is paid before the marriage to help the bride and her family prepares for the wedding. The other part is only paid if at any time in the future, the marriage breaks down. In this way the woman is given some measures of security if the marriage should end. Sometimes, the first part of the dowry is paid partly in goods, which will be useful in the couple's home.

The dowry is referred to by the word 'Mahr' and the Quran lays down that it is the wife’s property and must not be taken by from her. It is regarded as a sign that the husband respects his bride as a person in her own right. The dowry often takes place during the engagement day, or sometimes before the engagement day.

Mehndi: The mehndi ceremonies celebrated one day before the wedding day. The bride and the groom celebrate the mehndi ceremony on the same day, but they celebrate in their own house. During this ceremony the bride and the groom put mehndi on their hands.

Marriage Ceremony: After every other ceremony, the marriage ceremony takes place. Most often, the ceremony is rather simple and quiet.

However, for the celebrations that follow, families often spend large sums of money on food, clothes, and gifts. The lavishness of the celebrations depends on the wealth of the families involved and even the poorest families will borrow money in order to stage a proper wedding. Usually, these will be held in the home or just outside the home of one of the two families. This ceremony can last throughout the night or longer. There are often community events, in which an entire village or neighbourhood will be invited to join in the celebration. Very often men and women celebrate at the same time but in separate buildings or areas.

Marriage, in Islam, is a bond of love and mercy. It is not only unites man and wife but extends unity to all relations, brothers and sisters uncles and aunts, grandparents and etc. Relatives hold different positions according to seniority within the family. The marriage is based on love first and then mercy. Muslims do not believe in, and are forbidden pre-marital sexual relations.

Marriage between two people, according to Islamic law, is settled with a contract, in which the rights and duties of both man and woman are laid out and agreed on by both persons. In many parts of the Islamic world, marriage is seen as the uniting of two families rather than two individuals.

This is what happens in a marriage ceremony, the groom's side gets ready to go the bride's house or where the wedding is taking place. Mostly before the wedding the wedding used to be in the bride's house but now both sides hire halls. The groom goes to the bride's place and takes a seat. The groom and the bride have seats already for them, meaning they have their own special seats. The groom and the bride are now seated next to each other. The rest of people and both the families go and have or eat food (dinner). After everyone's finished eating, everything is cleared away. The Imam is now called to announce the groom and the bride, husband and wife.

When the Imam comes he brings a contract which has to be signed by both the bride and the groom. Here's a picture showing the groom getting blessed after signing the contract:

After the contracts are signed the Imam asks both, the groom and the bride if they take each other as husband and wife. The Imam asks this three times, and then the groom and the bride are announced husband and wife. The rings are then exchanged. The man may have any kind of ring except gold. The guests then congratulate the bride and groom, saying,'Baarakal-Lahu Lakum Wa Baaraka Alaykum' (may God bless you and invoke His benediction upon you). A big feast follows. There will be some music and songs within the limits of Islam.

Walima: The Walima is a party given for all friends and family. It usually consists of a sumptuous meal, and lots of presents are given, sometimes money. It takes place within three days of the wedding.